Annette Price

My secret identity

About a week ago, a friend sent me an email. “Dear Annette …” I stared at my name and realized how foreign it sounded. Nowadays, I answer mostly to Mommy, occasionally to Honey, Mrs. Price or Rachel’s Mom.

This morning, Matthew handed me a book, “I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids.” It struck the same chord. While Rachel was at preschool, I let Audrey sleep in. I held a bottle for Miranda with one hand and with the other, sought to regain my identity in the pages of a coping-with-mommyhood book.

The authors found that when they asked women across the country if they were happy with motherhood, these moms would profess, then confess. They would declare how wonderful their lives were for the first 22 minutes, then suddenly crack. Once the floodgates had opened, they’d admit that they were so overwhelmed with choices, responsibilities, judgement from others, and their own unachieveable expectations, that they were ready to shoot themselves. One mom said she considers going to the dentist her special “alone time.”

I was delighted to see a chapter on mommy guilt, a very real psychological disorder I identified about three months after Rachel was born. Authors Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile write:

“Amazing but true: We have a knack of feeling guilty over almost anything related to motherhood. Really, you name it, and we’ve felt guilty about it. Leaving a diaper on too long, changing diapers too often. Being late to pick up a kid from a playdate, being early to pick up a kid from a playdate. Buying our children sweets, not buying our children sweets. Enforcing bedtimes, not enforcing bedtimes. Taking time to put ourselves back together, not taking time to put ourselves back together. It’s quite miraculous and very destructive, this ability of ours to feel guilty. And we are not alone. Nearly every mom we talked to was feeling guilty about something. One mom summed it up: ‘I even feel guilty about feeling guilty!’”

The book is not just a sister gripe session. It empathizes, then challenges the modern mom to get more out of doing less and to cherish the now moments. To read excerpts or take a fun mom quiz, check out the authors’ website,

I never claimed to be a supermom, but it’s tough to escape the occasional identity crisis that comes with the job.

Embracing girly

Yes, I talk about my kids a lot. Not because I think they’re better than your kids. (We won’t get into that.) Not because I think I am an awesome mom. (We won’t get into that either!) I’m proud of them, and I can’t wait to see how they’ll grow. 

We took a break to embrace girly and take some pink pictures on Valentine’s weekend. I hope they always stay sweet. 

Yay, art!

Personal outings (not errands) are a rare treat for me. I’ve been aching to visit the Oklahoma City Museum of Art for a while, so for my birthday this year, that’s where we went. No kids. I wanted Matthew and I to get to be the kids for once.

Art is intriguing. I don’t pretend to be a critic, but there’s something about entering a gallery and allowing my eyes to consume and process mass amounts of information, while the rest of my body is virtually at rest. Paintings and sculptures are like puzzles with thousands of correct answers. The challenge is how many interpretations can I find. I haven’t decided if the art speaks to me, or the art is an excuse I use to speak to myself.

The pinnacle of the museum is the Dale Chiluly Collection. These grand glass sculptures are breathtaking, particularly when illuminated. My favorite was the majestic Neodymium Spears. But the displays offered a feast of colors and curves: balls, twists, rippled shells and staffs. Incredibly, none of the displays of glass were behind glass — another reason I’m glad we didn’t take Tornado.

The visiting exhibit was “Paris 1900,” the strength of which were the bouncy, flourished, advertising posters of the time. We were even inspired to go home and watch “Moulin Rouge” — not exactly the same!

Cake No. 200!

For my 200th cake since I started decorating, I wanted to go overboard and attempt something really difficult. Matt said he’d love to have a Legion of Super-Heroes cake. Done. Eight hours to pipe 24 characters on a full-sheet cake. I don’t think I’ll ever do that again!  Thanks to comics artist Gary Frank for some awesome inspiration!

I’ve also updated my cake gallery on  Flickr, so check it out.

Confessions of a ValGrinch

I’ve never understood the resistance toward Christmastime. I’m sure some people have personal issues associated with the holidays, but Christmas should be big enough for everyone, even those who don’t celebrate it for the birth of Christ.

Me? I’m a ValGrinch. I yell “Bah, Humbug!” at Cupid every February.

There are so many reasons to hate a day that tells you to love.

The establishment. Hallmark shouldn’t dictate when or how we care. The expectations behind the holiday cheapen anything done on that day. Are we doing things for people on this day to fulfill a quota, or because we really want to? For me, a card or a box of chocolates for no reason at all will always trump a valentine.

The scam. A florist near our business advertises fresh flowers everyday: One dozen roses, only $15.95! This week, the same sign was outside the shop, but slightly different: One dozen roses, only $65.95! Supply and demand is a cornerstone of our economy. Yet, something about the price of this seasonal bouquet seems a little thorny.

The trap. Training men to do something they aren’t naturally inclined to do is almost unheard of. Love propoganda has drilled into us all that men must make a splash just to meet status quo. For some women, no man can do enough on this day. For other women, big gestures will doom any budding relationship. Ironically, it’s a universal no-win for romance. Imagine if this behavior modification advertising we see for Valentine’s Day were used for the everyday practical good. Can we train our guys to load the dishwasher correctly? Oh, the possibilities.

The exclusion. When was the last time your family sent a big Christmas gift to the office so you could unwrap it in front of your coworkers, who didn’t get anything? How does this promote love? An entire holiday devoted to relationships has the makings for the lonliest day of the year.

How can we fix Valentine’s Day? It’s a fun idea, to focus on love for one day, to have an excuse to make others feel special.

The 5-year-olds have it right. My daughter’s pre-K class distributed valentines this morning. They loved giving each other little folded cards that they worked so hard to write their names on. No one was left out. It was about friendship, and they’re too young not to be friends with everyone in the class.

I always try to do something small for one or two friends too. I rotate the recipients each year, so it doesn’t become an obligation, and the tiebreakers go to friends who don’t have a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife.

As for my husband, we made a pact long ago. We are not allowed to spend more than we can find in the cushions of the couch. This keeps expectations low and creativity high.

Is my heart two sizes too small? No, but if we could scale down the valentines to modest, heart-felt gestures, today would be the perfect holiday to keep the love bubbling until spring can pep us up again.

Dog vs. Balloons

Meet Simon, a Jack Russell terrier from South Dakota. Why do I enjoy this video so much?

The kids like it too. Audrey’s reaction: “It’s a cow!” Now THAT would have made a great video.