Annette Price

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

Audrey’s first word was “yay!” when she was only 8 months old, 4 months before kids generally start talking. She’s always been very expressive vocally, and now we’re realizing she’s equally as creative. At 3, now she’s created her own language. I call it “Darmok.”

Here’s where all that sci-fi knowledge I’ve squirreled away helps me be a better mom. Remember “Star Trek: The Next Generation?” In Season 5, Capt. Picard is forced into an alien lock-in on a strange planet with Dathon, a Tamarian captain. Although the universal translator can decipher the alien’s words, we don’t understand the meaning behind the phrases, particularly, “When the walls fell,” “Sails unfurled,” and “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.” Picard eventually figures out Dathon is speaking in metaphors, based on the history of his people. “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra” refers to two leaders who unite to defeat a common enemy. Audrey likewise uses metaphors of her own world to express her feelings.

In our house, each of the big sisters has one cherished belonging that if lost, causes the entire household to come to a standstill. Should our house ever catch fire, I am prepared to go back in for Rachel’s pink blanket and Audrey’s Bedtime Bear. If Audrey says she’s lost her Bedtime Bear, it’s accompanied by real tears. However, she started complaining, “I lost my Bedtime Bear” while she had the stuffed bear in her hand. She didn’t mean it literally. She meant she was as sad as if she had lost Bedtime Bear.

Since then, we’ve established other Audrey metaphors:

“I’m too shy” really means “I don’t feel like it.” How can she be too shy to use the bathroom or eat her dinner?

“I’m too small” really means “I don’t understand.” She’s demonstrated she’s not too small to climb into bed. She just doesn’t get why it’s not playtime anymore.

“It’s cold” really means “I’m uncomfortable.” It can be 80 degrees outside, and she’ll say it’s too cold. If her pants are too tight, she’s also too cold.

What have we learned? Dr. Spock vs. Mr. Spock — same difference. Kids are aliens.

Fortune for me is unfortunate for you

My latest fortune cookie: “You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.”

OK, gang. Although I am happy to help any one of you at any time, I don’t want to see anyone in trouble. So watch it.

Don’t believe in fortune cookies? I don’t either. Most of the time they are proverbs rather than fortunes anyway. But I have received a couple that have been dead-on.

The night before Matt popped the question: “Accept the next proposal you hear.”

And about a week before Miranda was born: “You are about to receive a joyous gift.”

Flicks (and ticks) of 2007

My husband LOVES lists. It’s his way of organizing this thoughts. He took his Best of 2007 Movie List very seriously. He should. It’s part of his job.

However, my list is a bit different. Matt and I will have some of the same movies on our 2007 lists, but he’s a certified critic. He watches a lot of movies whether he thinks he’ll like them or not. He grades the movies based on the quality of the filmaking.

I don’t have time to watch a lot of movies. I saw some movies that were obviously good, but I didn’t like them. Sorry, movies. My list is a popularity contest. Just like the adorable pup at the pound — you may not be the best in show, but I like you anyway.

These are the movies that I found the most enjoyable of 2007.

1. The King of Kong — This documentary follows the saga of a man attempting to break the all-time high score in the Donkey Kong arcade game. Over-the-top, yet honest, this film provides a peek into the inner cliques of adult video game nerds.

2. Juno — Since I was pregnant for most of 2007, it’s amazing I saw any movies at all. Maybe that’s why I liked Juno so much. This movie is really about how hard it is to decide what one wants out of life.

3. Hot Fuzz — An overachieving British police officer is transferred to a seemingly quiet town with a high number of fatal accidents. This outrageous mystery was the funniest of the year.

4. Eagle vs. Shark — Again, nerds and video games. This movie follows Lily, a toned-down Napoleon Dynamite in New Zealand looking for love.

5. Knocked Up — Again, pregnant. A one-night stand turns into a nine-month journey for a couple who is ultimately unprepared. It’s tough to be fair and honest about men and women and babies and hormones. This movie pulls it off.

6. Atonement — A young girl misinterprets the relationship between her sister and her suitor, and tells a lie that affects the rest of their lives. This movie was shot beautifully and carefully explores the essence of guilt and consequences.

7. Spider-Man 3 — Lots of characters, lots of action, lots of villains. But when the dust (and black goo) settles, this movie reveals the Spidey saga isn’t about costumed characters at all. Concentrate on the three main characters to get the most out of director Sam Raimi’s trilogy: Peter Parker, Mary Jane Watson and Harry Osborn.

8. Disturbia — This movie made me jump. out. of. my. chair. A teenager under house arrest finds himself in a Rear Window situation.

9. 300 — A beautiful cinematic reproduction of Frank Miller’s comic-book series was fun to watch and a unique movie experience.

10. Ghost Rider — This movie had problems (notably Eva Mendes), but it was so much better than I expected, the pleasant surprise of not being horrible pushes it into my top ten.

And here are the real dogs — the movies I thought were inviting enough to scratch behind the ears, but showed fangs instead.

1. Underdog — Shoeshine, a mild-mannered stray, gains super powers after a freak lab experiment. I saw the preview. I was sold. I was eager to accept a lot of flaws in exchange for a superhero dog movie. I was not prepared for this level of awful. The jokes were dumb. The dog unheroic. By the end, I didn’t care about this movie, even though I wanted to more than anyone of a right mind should.

2. The Last Sin-Eater — This movie played out like a Hallmark Hall of Fame presentation. A town full of Welsh immigrants let superstitions control their lives. An annoying little girl is also involved. I’ve blocked out the rest.

3. Lady Chatterley — Nature reawakens a woman’s sexual desire, causing her to turn from her paralyzed husband to have an affair with their gamekeeper. Despite it being filmed in French and based on D.H. Lawrence’s book known for its erotic content, there was nothing interesting about this movie. The nudity and sex scenes were unflinchingly boring. The close-ups of daisies blowing in the wind were one of the reasons this movie was over three hours long.

4. Broken English — Parker Posey is usually awesome. She plays Nora, an unlucky-in-love thirtysomething who falls for a Frenchman. He’s mad about her, but she can’t admit she feels the same way. After finding herself alone again, she decides to fly to Paris to reclaim love. Too bad she didn’t bring along his address or phone number. It’s at this point, I can no longer sympathize with Nora or her movie.

5. The Brave One — Jodie Foster is also usually a sure bet. When a gang assaults her and kills her fiancé during a nighttime stroll in the park, she wigs out. Packing a gun and playing vigilante could make for an awesome movie, but Jodie’s character makes one stupid decision after another, making this one difficult to watch.

Honorable Mention: Fred Claus — Vince Vaughn as Santa Claus’ bitter brother? Such potential! But this movie goes nowhere fast. This was a good idea that never developed. And its philosophy that there are no naughy kids, just “misunderstood” kids, doesn’t make it likely a choice for my children either.

Precious babies

Not a lot rhymes with Miranda. Memoranda, propoganda, Uganda. Let’s face it, the cutest rhyme is panda. It also just happens that Miranda shares a birthday with the world’s newest panda cub.

Zhen Zhen, which means “precious” in Chinese, was born Aug. 3, in the San Diego Zoo. Zhen Zhen, a girl, seems to share personality traits with our Miranda. Zookeepers say Zhen Zhen is the quietest cub they’ve seen yet, and describe her as healthy and vigorous.

For more on Zhen Zhen’s milestones, visit the zoo’s site for giant panda news.

Green is my favorite color

I have mixed feelings about home makeover shows. Extreme Makeover Home Edition? Love it. Sometimes it makes me cry. Shows on H&G Network? I don’t know. Sometimes they bore me to tears.

I’ve never been one to paint walls on a whim. I’m not that daring. If I didn’t like the color, I know it’d be an ordeal to change it back. Dolling up the website, on the other hand, is less of a mess.

There’s no paint to mix, but deciding on one hex value out of millions of possibilities is a challenge. And once you’ve found a great color, creating coordinating colors can be even more frustrating.

For help, I went to the Color Schemer Gallery to get ideas from other people who like to match colors. Then, I used the online Color Scheme Generator to expand on the ideas I liked, and to find the hex values of shades that were slightly lighter or darker.

There was a lot of trial and error involved, but I think I came up with a look that I liked. I wonder if hardware stores can mix paints based on RGB and hex values …

Miranda milestones

Aug. 3: After 17 hours of labor, Miranda was born. I was exhilarated and exhausted.

Sept 17: Miranda smiles for the first time. Since then, she has smiled at virtually everyone she’s ever met — especially the boys.

Oct. 31: Miranda dresses like a duck for Halloween.

Nov. 10: Miranda watches a toy move from one side of her to the other (crosses the midline).

Nov. 18: Miranda attends her first comic book convention. Superheroes Fat Momma, Major Victory and The Diffuser signed comics for her at Wizard World in Arlington, Texas.

Nov. 19: Miranda experiments with her own potential superpowers by attempting to fly off my knee.

Nov. 24: Miranda maintains her balance briefly while sitting on her own.

Nov. 27: Miranda watches the finale of her favorite show, “Dancing With the Stars.” Leaping, music, sequins … what baby wouldn’t be entranced?

Jan. 3: Miranda eats her first bite of real food: a mushy mix of milk and rice cereal. Catch the moment in the 39-second documentary below: 

Keeping up with Nerdage

Check out the best comic book and pop culture blog around! Nerdage, powered by NewsOK.com (The Oklahoman) is bursting with information.

Matt Price (yes, THAT Matt Price) manages the blog to make sure there’s fun stuff posted everyday.

Bookmark it at http://blog.newsok.com/nerdage.

Please, give me a pass

I’m not sure which part of raising kids kills brain cells. Is it the pregnancies? The sleep interruptions? The mundane repetition of picking up toys and reading the same children’s books every day?

Yes! I had my baby. On Aug. 3, Miranda was born. I would have told the world, yet I couldn’t remember the password for my website. Almost six months later, I’m finally getting things sorted out and hope to post more regularly.

The password dilemma is nothing new. I have started a password file on my computer. Of course, the password file is saved under an alternate name — a password for the passwords. Want to know the name of the file? It’s the code word Matthew and I have agreed upon in case either one of us suspects the other has been replaced by an impostor/clone/robot. In this Matrix world, one can never be too sure. (It has been tested once or twice.)

Currently, I have almost 50 passwords recorded, and I know I’m missing some. This boggles my mind. I try to make them unique, but I’ve run out of ideas and there are clearly the ones I don’t care that much about hiding — my Southwest Airlines frequent flier ID for example. I don’t think I’ll be getting away enough to cash that in anyway.

Last month, I had to call the bank to regain access to my online checking account. The bank had forced me to change the password the week before. When I entered the old password by mistake, it automatically locked me out. Furious at what should have taken me only a couple of seconds to check my balance, I took it out on the bank operator.

“I can’t take money out of my account online. I can only check the activity. Not only do I have to remember a password, you keep making me change the password, I have to answer a dozen security questions, and I have to verify the same picture of a hairdryer everytime I log in,” I complained. All I got was a lecture about how the bank is committed to a high level of security.

Remember “Super Password”? I used to watch that show every day. It was the 1980s, and Bert Convy was funny. I was so good at that game. But then, that was before I had kids.