Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Audrey’s first word was “yay!” when she was only 8 months old, 4 months before kids generally start talking. She’s always been very expressive vocally, and now we’re realizing she’s equally as creative. At 3, now she’s created her own language. I call it “Darmok.”
Here’s where all that sci-fi knowledge I’ve squirreled away helps me be a better mom. Remember “Star Trek: The Next Generation?” In Season 5, Capt. Picard is forced into an alien lock-in on a strange planet with Dathon, a Tamarian captain. Although the universal translator can decipher the alien’s words, we don’t understand the meaning behind the phrases, particularly, “When the walls fell,” “Sails unfurled,” and “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.” Picard eventually figures out Dathon is speaking in metaphors, based on the history of his people. “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra” refers to two leaders who unite to defeat a common enemy. Audrey likewise uses metaphors of her own world to express her feelings.
In our house, each of the big sisters has one cherished belonging that if lost, causes the entire household to come to a standstill. Should our house ever catch fire, I am prepared to go back in for Rachel’s pink blanket and Audrey’s Bedtime Bear. If Audrey says she’s lost her Bedtime Bear, it’s accompanied by real tears. However, she started complaining, “I lost my Bedtime Bear” while she had the stuffed bear in her hand. She didn’t mean it literally. She meant she was as sad as if she had lost Bedtime Bear.
Since then, we’ve established other Audrey metaphors:
“I’m too shy” really means “I don’t feel like it.” How can she be too shy to use the bathroom or eat her dinner?
“I’m too small” really means “I don’t understand.” She’s demonstrated she’s not too small to climb into bed. She just doesn’t get why it’s not playtime anymore.
“It’s cold” really means “I’m uncomfortable.” It can be 80 degrees outside, and she’ll say it’s too cold. If her pants are too tight, she’s also too cold.
What have we learned? Dr. Spock vs. Mr. Spock — same difference. Kids are aliens.
