Confessions of a ValGrinch
I’ve never understood the resistance toward Christmastime. I’m sure some people have personal issues associated with the holidays, but Christmas should be big enough for everyone, even those who don’t celebrate it for the birth of Christ.
Me? I’m a ValGrinch. I yell “Bah, Humbug!” at Cupid every February.
There are so many reasons to hate a day that tells you to love.
The establishment. Hallmark shouldn’t dictate when or how we care. The expectations behind the holiday cheapen anything done on that day. Are we doing things for people on this day to fulfill a quota, or because we really want to? For me, a card or a box of chocolates for no reason at all will always trump a valentine.
The scam. A florist near our business advertises fresh flowers everyday: One dozen roses, only $15.95! This week, the same sign was outside the shop, but slightly different: One dozen roses, only $65.95! Supply and demand is a cornerstone of our economy. Yet, something about the price of this seasonal bouquet seems a little thorny.
The trap. Training men to do something they aren’t naturally inclined to do is almost unheard of. Love propoganda has drilled into us all that men must make a splash just to meet status quo. For some women, no man can do enough on this day. For other women, big gestures will doom any budding relationship. Ironically, it’s a universal no-win for romance. Imagine if this behavior modification advertising we see for Valentine’s Day were used for the everyday practical good. Can we train our guys to load the dishwasher correctly? Oh, the possibilities.
The exclusion. When was the last time your family sent a big Christmas gift to the office so you could unwrap it in front of your coworkers, who didn’t get anything? How does this promote love? An entire holiday devoted to relationships has the makings for the lonliest day of the year.
How can we fix Valentine’s Day? It’s a fun idea, to focus on love for one day, to have an excuse to make others feel special.
The 5-year-olds have it right. My daughter’s pre-K class distributed valentines this morning. They loved giving each other little folded cards that they worked so hard to write their names on. No one was left out. It was about friendship, and they’re too young not to be friends with everyone in the class.
I always try to do something small for one or two friends too. I rotate the recipients each year, so it doesn’t become an obligation, and the tiebreakers go to friends who don’t have a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife.
As for my husband, we made a pact long ago. We are not allowed to spend more than we can find in the cushions of the couch. This keeps expectations low and creativity high.
Is my heart two sizes too small? No, but if we could scale down the valentines to modest, heart-felt gestures, today would be the perfect holiday to keep the love bubbling until spring can pep us up again.
